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Questions and Answers

My RE has said we should wait two months before trying another IVF cycle.  This idea of waiting and wasting time is killing me.

—Beth Anne

Many infertile women describe the waiting periods of treatment or between treatments as the most difficult part of the process. 

I invite you to re-frame the “waiting” period as an opportunity to get yourself in the best place physically, emotionally, and relationally for your next IVF procedure.

Physically, focus on healthy eating and regular gentle exercise.  Work towards a Body Mass Index (BMI) of between 19 and 25.  You can go online to the National Institutes of Health and input your height and weight to calculate BMI.  Both too low and too high BMI hinder your fertility.  Use on-line food diaries to track what you eat, your eating triggers, and number of calories expended.  Buy a new cookbook and use this time to learn new healthy recipes.  You will have little free time once you start a new IVF cycle or if you have a new baby.

Focus on gentle, non-aggressive physical activity:  walking and yoga are often helpful.  Walking is especially beneficial if you do it with someone who cares about you and with whom you can confide.  Walking with a friend provides, not only beneficial exercise, but also crucial emotional support, and it gets you out of the house when the grief of infertility increases your tendency to withdraw.

Fill your life with those things that help you feel renewed and more resilient:   meditation, music, books, journaling, and supportive people.  Gently educate your husband and those who care for you about your needs.  The core grief of infertility is the loss (or fear of losing) the relationship you’ve always dreamed of with your son or daughter.  You will find some solace in healing relationships with your partner, best friend, or other infertile women.

—Shari

Radio Interview Excerpt:
The unique grief of Infertility